Tori
is a dog mom from Nebraska and she recently suffered through one of the most
harrowing experiences that a pet parent will ever go through. Her beloved Chloe
recently passed away. She decided that she would share the story with Love What
Matters so that the rest of the world would be able to appreciate what she has
been through. Just be sure to have plenty of tissues on hand…
“Today
was a day I’ve been dreading. For the past few weeks we’ve known the end was
coming, but didn’t want it to come so fast. Our 11-year-old American Bulldog,
who has been with us from the very beginning, was sent to fur-baby heaven
today.”
“Just
shortly after Kyle (my husband) and I met and moved in together we decided we
wanted to get another dog. He had Titian an American Bulldog who was a little
over a year, and I just knew I had to have another one. When the time came my
husband (boyfriend at the time) drove out to a small home just south of our
hometown and brought home our Chloe. It’s hard to believe she was the runt of her
litter. Our worlds changed, she was the happiest puppy from day one. So here we
are, 18 and 24 years old with 2 puppies and nothing but time.”
“On
April 29, 2008, Kyle proposed to me. I had come home from running errands to a
note sitting on the door, sending me on a scavenger hunt. I went upstairs,
downstairs, outside, to the garage, somehow back into my car (the man is sneaky
I tell ya), and then back upstairs. Chloe and Titian followed me wagging their
tales so hard you could hear them on the walls as we walked around, they were
just as excited as I was. My last clue told me to go into the living room and
find something hot. There sat Kyle on the couch, and all that really ran
through my mind was, ‘bow-chicka-wow-wow.’ But turns out there was a note in
the fire place with a box attached that read, ‘You found your gift here you
see, now answer my question. Will you marry me?’ HOLY crap! I was so shocked,
and now when I look back on that amazing moment, I remember Chloe and Titian
running around us wagging their tales and jumping around with excitement.”
“While
I was at school Kyle called me and said something was wrong with Chloe. He had
come home from work and noticed she was incredibly swollen, covered with hives
all over her body. After a vet ER trip, an EpiPen, and a dog that looked like a
Thanksgiving day parade balloon, Chloe was back to herself. We really don’t
know what stung/bit her, but I can happily say it never did again.”
“Fast
forward to April 1, 2010. Positive pregnancy test. Chloe was there to celebrate
with me. 7 days later the worst day of my life happened. As I laid on the couch
I knew something was wrong, something didn’t feel right. Chloe was with me when
I went into the bathroom to confirm that my very worst fears were happening. After
a night in the ER with Kyle and the following day at the OB, it was confirmed.
We’d just lost our baby. My heart broke into 9 million pieces. I can’t tell you
how many baths I soaked in while my arm hung over the edge holding on my dog.
She was always there. Come 8 weeks later we were totally caught off guard by
yet another pregnancy test. I could barely stand the thought of carrying a baby
then. I was so scared that I would get broken again, I didn’t know if I could
have taken another lose. I cried, a lot. Chloe was there, always setting her
drooly jowls right on my leg reassuring me it was going to be ok.”
“In
January of 2011 we welcomed home our oldest, Wyatt. We had read somewhere in
our many handbooks or baby sites that it would be a good idea to bring home a
blanket from the hospital for the dogs, so they would know new baby smell. I
wasn’t there when they got their first sniff of Wyatt, but I was told they went
wild. Once we finally got home Chloe and Titian never left Wyatt’s side. They
would do tummy time with him, help with his feedings, the works. She was
there.”
“Just
6 weeks after Wyatt was born I lost my best friend to cancer, my grandpa. My
grandpa and I were crazy close, especially so during the last few months of
Wyatt’s pregnancy. Let’s talk about those postpartum hormones, they are crazy
as is but then add in such a huge lose. There was lots of uncontrollable
sobbing, late nights of disbelieve, and honestly just plain depression. Chloe
was there. She’s always slept on my side of the bed and would always nudge my
hand at just the right moment. And if she wasn’t by my side of the bed
sleeping, it was guaranteed she’d be laying in the middle of the hallway for us
to trip over in the dark.”
“We’d
moved again, only this time to a friend’s duplex. They had around 12 horses,
and the dogs absolutely loved to terrorize them. One night they had gotten out
of our yard and thought it would be fun to cause a stampede. Bulldogs are not
meant to run with the horses, I can say that with complete confidence. Chloe
came inside not well, the kind of not well where I slept on her dog bed with
her. She had been stomped on. Right on the top of her head. It was a pretty
terrible and scary scene. She’s my first baby. She’s always here, what would I
do without her?! Thankfully she pulled through and made a full recovery. Around
this time is when Titian changed. Not towards Kyle, Wyatt, or myself, but
towards Chloe. After one too many dog brawls we had to make a hard choice,
Titian was too aggressive. Then it was just the 4 of us; Kyle, Wyatt, Chloe and
me.”
“We’ve
known since we got married we wanted more than 1 child (really, he wanted 2 and
I originally wanted 4), so we started trying for another. Loss after loss after
loss, my heart broke over and over again. More long, sad baths with Chloe
beside me. WHAT is happening?! WHY can’t I have a baby?! It was like every
month was torture. She was there with me. After so many loses, and then the
long lull in nothing, we went into my OB’s office and decided to start fertility
treatments, and with the second try we have our Maddie. Just like with Wyatt,
we brought home one of her blankets from the hospital for her to sniff and love
on before we came home. Chloe still slept right next to my bed, but never in
the same exact spot. She was always sure to make a point that I needed to check
on her first before getting to my crying babies. She was there.”
“When
Maddie was 14 months, very, very much to our surprise, we were pregnant again.
In November of 2015 we welcomed Tucker and our family was now complete; Kyle,
Wyatt, Maddie, Tucker, Chloe and myself. If we were home, I promise you she was
near at least one of us. Either snoring away, drooling for the food we had, or
making us all ask who farted. She was there, that was for sure. He favorite
spot to lay down and relax was just at the top of the stairs. In the perfect
spot to make sure we’d have to zig zag around her, and I can’t even tell you
how many times she was accidently hit with that baby gate. Just at the top of
the stairs we have a vent. Every time she’d get excited you could hear her tail
hitting the vent, ‘thunk thunk thunk,’ and because it was on the vent you could
hear her excitement through the entire house. That was her spot, where she
could see and smell everything. Every night Wyatt would ask if Chloe was ready
for bed and call her into his room. This would always make Maddie so mad
because she just wanted Chloe to love sleeping with her. I don’t know why, but
bedtime was always in Wyatt’s room. Nowhere else would work.”
“In
March we lost my grandma to cancer. We knew she was being called home and spent
7 days in the hospital slowly watching her fade. Knowing Grandma was dying was
painful, but watching my mom, aunt, and grandpa lose her was one thing I will
never heal from. And every night when I would come home, Chloe was there. She’d
sit with me in the bathroom while I cried. It was around this time when she
started sleeping in our room again. She found her old spot, right next to my
side of the bed, just barely under foot. We’d known for a while that she wasn’t
doing well. Her hips were bad and to be really honest, she’d helped with one
too many kitchen clean ups.”
“Two
weeks ago, Kyle and I noticed she was sitting up and breathing really weird.
The sitting up was our first red flag. If you knew Chloe at all, you would know
she’s lazy. She was either laying down or actively wiggling with excitement.
There really was no in between with Chloe. As I went to check on her, our eyes
met. They were her begging eyes. Eyes that said, ‘Help me Mama.’ I gave her a
good once over checking to see what was wrong. And there they were, two large
masses right on her throat. I knew our time was far too limited then. I also
knew I needed Kyle to be the one to tell me when, and to help me prepare the
kids. I will never be known as a person who can hide their emotions, even
currently I am a mess. We’d prepared the kids for what would likely happen
sooner than we want.”
“The
Thursday before Memorial Day she wasn’t doing well, her breathing was becoming
more labored than before and I could feel more lumps growing in her throat.
Friday we noticed she stopped eating, this was our sign and we knew it was
time. On Sunday we told the kids what the next few days would entail. They took
that news pretty well. I, on the other hand, bawled the second they couldn’t
see me. By Tuesday morning I knew it was time. Wyatt was at school, Maddie
would be soon and Tucker was enjoying running around half naked. Maddie and
Tucker spent the morning trying to get her to eat, giving her treats and love.
She even said, ‘Come on Tuck, maybe if we scoot back she’ll eat.’ They really
loved their Chloe, she was always there with them.”
“Chloe
was ready, and even through all the preparation for the day, I still wasn’t. I
needed a picture of us, one of she and I. I really tried for a happy ‘lovey’
picture, but I couldn’t hold it together. Instead I laid next to her bawling
and dreading the end.”
“Just
an hour after this picture, Chloe was gone. For the first time she wasn’t here.
When the kids came home from school, Wyatt asked where she was, and all I could
do was shake my head trying to keep my composure for him. Maddie and Tucker
came into the kitchen when we’d started picking up Chloe’s food bowl, a bowl
that was still full of her food and treats from the kids. It hadn’t clicked
with them yet, and she asked if she could give Chloe another treat. We had to
explain she couldn’t have treats anymore, she wasn’t here.”
“Just
typing this hurts. Huge crocodile tears are streaming down my tear-stained
face. She’s not here. We’re on day two of no Chloe, and it is hard. I don’t
have to make sure the toilet bowl is up and clean for her to drink from, I don’t
have to watch for her at the top of the stairs so I don’t bonk her with the
gate, I can’t rely on her to clean up the floor after every meal. She isn’t
here.”
Source: lovewhatmatters.com