Laura Birks is a wife, mother and full time writer. She recently wrote an
eye opening letter revealing the truth about her relationship with her husband.
Laura says she’s no longer the person he married and she wanted to explain
why. This is what she says:
“Dear Husband,
I am sorry.
I’m sorry that you’ve been neglected for the last four-and-a-half years.
I’m sorry that your needs are secondary. I assure you, you are still one of my
top priorities—you just aren’t on the top of the list anymore.
I know that you have needs, wants, dreams and desires. When I tell you that
I want to be the one you lean on, I mean it. I know you are tired of my excuses
of being tired, having a headache or am already snoring when you snuggle up
next to me. Trust me, I wish I had the energy I had five years ago. Hell, I
wish I had the energy I had two weeks ago when I washed, folded and actually
put away all 10 loads of laundry. Of course, you didn’t see that because I was
letting you get some much needed sleep.
I know that some days it feels like we have a business partnership. And
you’re right. Some days—even weeks—feel that way. Know that I want better for
our marriage, for us. Because together, we are damn good.
The problem is, my life, my brain and my body are so wrapped up in being a
mother to those little boys who look exactly like you. Even after they’re sound
asleep and we’re sitting on the couch watching a movie, my brain is still in
mother mode.
I’m thinking about tomorrow; I’m thinking about 10 years from now. I’m
wondering if you have work clothes for tomorrow. I’m worried about money,
milestones and milk. Do we have enough milk? I can’t turn off being a mom. It
is who I am now. And it is physically, emotionally and mentally exhausting.
I don’t want you to think you aren’t as important as you once were. I
couldn’t live this life without you and I wouldn’t want to, either. But the
simple fact is, you’re an adult and you can do things for yourself. You can
vote, so you can make your own lunch. You are legally able to drive a car, so
you can figure out how to make a doctor’s appointment.
When you come home from work, you, unfortunately, are getting the worst
version of me. I gave our children the best. A little secret: Sometimes, some
days, there just isn’t a best version of me. There just isn’t.
I can’t worry about your health, the boys’ health, the pet’s health and my
health. Who do you think gets ignored? It’s not you. It’s not our children or
our pets. When I say I don’t feel well, when I say I haven’t been sleeping,
it’s because I haven’t been taking care of me.
Yes, you tell me to go to the doctor, to eat better, to drink more water,
but I am my very last priority. I know I need to change that and I’m not
complaining. I’m explaining that when something has to give, because no one
person can do it all, I am the thing that gives.
I’m worried about your sleep apnea, your allergies, your knee spasms. I am
worried about the rash Alex has, and the snotty nose that Ben suddenly started
with. I am concerned about our dog’s ears and what it’s going to cost to take
her to the vet.
While I’m thinking about it, I’m worried that the fish have too much algae
in their tank and the water needs to be changed. I’ll just add that to the
never-ending list of things I will feel guilty about when I am trying to sleep
tonight. None of this your fault. I am not blaming you, or wishing you were any
different.
You do extraordinary things for our family. You work harder than any person
I know. You care more about everyone, including me, than any other human I have
ever met. I love you a little more each time I see you help someone knowing you
will never get anything in return. You are the kindest, most loving father to
our children. There is a reason they cry when you leave for work. Yes, it
stings a little, but knowing that you are their role model in life fills me
with love and pride.
I am not the person you married 11 years ago. I have changed and evolved
into a wife, mother, friend and keeper of all schedules. I am a party planner
and a personal shopper. I am a chef specializing in chicken nuggets and pasta.
I am a housekeeper that can’t keep a house. I am the cheerleader and the
librarian. I am the night and the day nurse.
I wouldn’t change any of it. I don’t want any other life. I love you and I
love the life that we created. But I am not the spontaneous, beer drinking,
sexy bad girl you met way back when. I am a mother. And it is all of me.
Love Always,
Your Wife”
Though Laura has changed significantly over the last four years, she has no
regrets. Her heartfelt apology is inspiration to face every day head on, and
understand that the person you’re becoming, is better than the one you were
yesterday. You can find out more of Laura’s work on her website.
Share this with your friends and family today.
This post was republished from upmoments.com You can
find the original post here.