UPDATE – The winners for this giveaway are:
- Melissa Ballinger Dees
- Julie C. Perry
- Bobby Irion
- Michael Jon Piper
- Hannah
Sometimes
the world can feel like a lonely place. There are billions of people on the
planet, and many of us encounter hundreds in the course of our daily lives. Yet
it’s easy to feel disconnected from most, if not all of them.
The
many strangers we pass on a given day, who may avert their eyes to avoid
awkwardness, can start to feel like part of the scenery—like cars parked in a
lot or leaves floating in the wind.
And,
of course, we may feel the same to them, when we attempt to busy ourselves
right when we cross paths—anything to avoid an intimate moment of locking eyes
with someone we don’t know.
We
look at our feet, or our phones, or our friends. We shut down, cave in, tune
them out. In that moment, they’re not people, with stories and feelings just like
us. They’re strangers. Unknown. And perhaps a little scary.
The
luckiest of us have deep connections with people we do know. But even those
relationships can feel distant at times, and maybe more often than not.
We may feel judged, or misunderstood, or ignored. We may
worry about what those people think of us, or wonder if they’ll be there when
we need them.
And
worst of all, we may question if they’d still be there if they really knew us,
deepest secrets and all. Proximity doesn’t always equal closeness, and
closeness doesn’t guarantee trust.
If
it sounds like I am speaking from experience, that’s because I am. I have felt
lonely, and insecure, and suspicious. I’ve feared letting my guard down,
letting my feelings out, and letting people in.
As
a result, I spent years living on an island in my head, maintaining a physical
presence in the world but remaining as much emotional distance as possible.
The
irony is that I thought I was keeping myself safe from pain, when really I was
causing it.
It hurts to feel separate. We are wired to seek connection
and belonging—to feel like we are part of something larger than ourselves.
They
say it takes a village to raise a child, but I believe it also takes one to
sustain an adult. We were not built to live in isolation, hidden behind
apartment doors, phone screens, and dead eyes.
We
thrive when we feel like part of a tribe, when the people we share space with
become part of “us,” not “them.”
I’ve
spent my whole life fantasizing about “us,” and years trying to learn what it
takes to be part of that.
I
wish I could say I’ve discovered some great secret to forming deep, meaningful
relationships and feeling less alone in the world, but that would be a lie.
I haven’t discovered any one thing that turns strangers into
friends, and friends into family. I have, however, identified countless tiny
things, which, compounded over time, can make a massive difference.
And
that’s how Tiny Buddha’s 365 Tiny Love Challenges was born. As you may recall,
I launched the book in October of last year.
I
wanted it to be a comprehensive list of small things we can do, every day, to
create deep, meaningful connections with the people around us.
I
wanted to offer specific, actionable ways to show kindness, compassion, trust,
and support; to be authentic, accepting, forgiving, and encouraging.
They’re
abstract ideas, and not always easy to put into practice, especially when you
factor in that other people are flawed and scared, just like us.
Though
I still don’t feel as connected as I’d like to be—a natural consequence of
moving every two years for the past sixteen—I no longer live alone on the
Alcatraz in my head.
I have healed relationships from my past, dug beneath the
surface with people who would otherwise have remained acquaintances, and most
importantly, strengthened my relationship with myself so that I finally believe
I am worthy of being loved and fully seen.
And
I feel proud that I’ve created a book that, I’ve been told, has helped other
people do the same.
If
you grabbed a copy last year, you may be at the halfway point now—meaning
you’ve completed six months of challenges pertaining to kindness, compassion,
authenticity, forgiveness, attention, and honesty.
I’d
love to know how this experience has been for you—if you feel more connected,
if you’ve strengthened your relationships, or if there have been any other
pleasant, unexpected side effects of taking these action steps.
And if you don’t have a copy, I’d like to offer you a chance
to win one today. I’m giving away five autographed books, and all you need to
do is leave a comment answering one of the following questions:
-What
is one thing you believe most people want to receive from the people they love?
-What
is one thing you believe most people want to hear from the people they love?
-What
do you think it means to love someone?
Your
comment doesn’t need to be any specific length; in fact, it can be one word.
However much you choose to write, know that you are giving all Tiny Buddha
readers a gift through your time and effort.
Whatever
you choose to write could inspire someone, guide them toward a life-changing
epiphany, or help them form deeper, more meaningful relationships with the
people around them.
Your
comment is, in itself, a tiny act of love. And I will be the first to say that
I am grateful for it.
Source
: tinybuddha.com