Family
ties. Is it time to cut the cord that binds you together? One of the most
important things to remember about toxic relationships in general is you always
have a choice. You can choose to stay in it, try to change it or simply walk
away from it. The problem with toxic family members is there is a stronger
bond, an invisible emotional tie that only you can feel. Over time, dealing
with toxic relationships can hurt your emotional well-being and deplete your
self worth. If it starts to affect your mind and soul on a daily basis you
should reevaluate how involved with this family member you should be and when
to slowly start disengaging.
Struggling
with mental illness, I choose my friends and relationships very carefully. In
the past, I didn’t think about the effect certain people had on my illness and
it was very hard for me to cut ties in relationships without feeling utter
guilt. After a few heartbreaking experiences, I realized how much I loved
myself and that I deserved to be treated as I treat other people. Searching for
a new way of life spiritually and mentally I started to snip the strings
binding me to toxic people.
Not
everyone has a super close and healthy family. Unfortunately sometimes the word
“family” is just that, a word. Ceasing communication with people who cause you
more harm then happiness is sometimes the last resort but most effective to
your well-being. Here are 5 things to remember about toxic family members.
1.) They are bullies. Unhappy with their own lives or maybe dealing
with past resentments, they want everyone around them to feel just as awful as
they do. Instead of digging deep to the root of their problems, they try to
drag you into the dirt with them. They try to tear down your self-worth and
destroy your confidence so they can feel better about themselves. Sometimes,
recognizing this behavior and standing up for yourself can dramatically change
the situation. Saying something like “I have done nothing wrong and I will not
allow you to let me feel like that anymore,” can be very empowering.
2.) They are
passive-aggressive. Communication is key to having a healthy relationship,
passive-aggressive behavior is probably the worst way someone can act to get
your attention. They may try to point out your flaws randomly when you are
talking about your dreams or just ignore you completely if they are upset about
something. The easiest way to solve this is communicate, if they don’t take the
communication bait then you may have no choice but to detach yourself from the
situation as much as you can.
3.) They may not
necessarily be terrible people. Even so, you should not be spending time with them
on a regular basis. Everyone has bad and negative days, but it’s the people who
have a bad and negative day everyday you should stay away from. At this point,
I’m sure you have tried uplifting them and maybe feeling guilty about not being
able to do so. Frankly, it wears on your emotional well-being and their
happiness is not your responsibility. Anyone who does not make you feel good
and lift you up more so than not, shouldn’t be a part of your daily routine.
You are the company you keep.
4.) If anything, learn
from their mistakes. Do you ever watch how
someone acts or listen to their words and think to yourself…”God, I hope I
don’t sound/act like that person EVER in my life!” Well, take your own advice
and be the opposite. Practice compassion, mindfulness, and and self love every
day. If you love yourself, there isn’t really anything anyone can say to you to
make you feel bad about who you are!
5.) Let it go. Expecting someone to
change will just leave you let down and discouraged. We can all hope people
will change and our positive vibes will effect everyone we come into contact
with. That is just not the case sometimes and to be completely honest, positive
people annoy the hell out of negative people. When you are not on the same
wavelength as people, it’s very hard to see to eye to eye and that creates
friction. Ultimately, you have to do what is best for you and what feels right
in your heart.
Personally,
I have always had a very small “group” in which I confide in and spend serious
time with. Trusting people for me is key and paying attention to how people
surrounding me treat other people is exactly how they are going to treat you.
What do you guys think? Any tips on dealing with toxic family members?
Source
:
Xxpandedconsciousness.com