“In
one of the Agama Sutras, the Buddha’s early sermons, there is a very
interesting story:
Once
there was a man who had four wives. According to the social system and
circumstances of ancient India, it was possible for a man to have several
wives. Also, during the Heian period in Japan, about a thousand years ago, it
was not unusual for a woman to have several husbands. The Indian had become ill
and was about to die. At the end of his life, he felt very lonely and so asked
the first wife to accompany him to the other world.
‘My
dear wife,’ he said, ‘I loved you day and night, I took care of you throughout
my whole life. Now I am about to die, will you please go with me wherever I go
after my death?’
He
expected her to answer yes. But she answered, ‘My dear husband, I know you
always loved me. And you are going to die. Now it is time to separate from you.
Goodbye, my dear.’
He
called his second wife to his sickbed and begged her to follow him in death. He
said, ‘My dear second wife, you know how I loved you. Sometimes I was afraid
you might leave me, but I held on to you strongly. My dear, please come with
me.’
The
second wife expressed herself rather coldly. ‘Dear husband, your first wife
refused to accompany you after your death. How can I follow you? You loved me
only for your own selfish sake.’
Lying
in his deathbed, he called his third wife, and asked her to follow him. The
third wife replied, with tears in her eyes, ‘My dear, I pity you and I feel sad
for myself. Therefore I shall accompany you to the graveyard. This is my last
duty to you.’ The third wife thus also refused to follow him to death.
Three
wives had refused to follow him after his death. Now he recalled that there was
another wife, his fourth wife, for whom he didn’t care very much. He had
treated her like a slave and had always showed much displeasure with her. He
now thought that if he asked her to follow him to death, she certainly would
say no.
But
his loneliness and fear were so severe that he made the effort to ask her to
accompany him to the other world. The fourth wife gladly accepted her husband’s
request.
‘My
dear husband,’ she said, ‘I will go with you. Whatever happens, I am determined
to be with you forever. I cannot be separated from you.”
This
is the story of ‘A Man and His Four Wives.’
Gautama
Buddha concluded the story as follows:
‘Every
man and woman has four wives or husbands. What do these wives signify?’
THE FIRST WIFE
The
first ‘wife’ is our body. We love our body day and night. In the morning, we
wash our face, put on clothing and shoes. We give food to our body. We take
care of our body like the first wife in this story. But unfortunately, at the
end of our life, the body, the first ‘wife’ cannot follow us to the next world.
As it is stated in a commentary, ‘When the last breath leaves our body, the
healthy color of the face is transformed, and we lose the appearance of radiant
life. Our loved ones may gather around and lament, but to no avail. When such
an event occurs, the body is sent into an open field and cremated, leaving only
the white ashes.’ This is the destination of our body.
THE SECOND WIFE
What
is the meaning of the second wife? The second ‘wife’ stands for our fortune,
our material things, money, property, fame, position, and job that we worked
hard to attain. We are attached to these material possessions. We are afraid to
lose these material things and wish to possess much more. There is no limit. At
the end of our life these things cannot follow us to death. Whatever fortune we
have piled up, we must leave it. We came into this world with empty hands.
During our life in this world, we have the illusion that we obtained a fortune.
At death, our hands are empty. We can’t hold our fortune after our death, just
as the second wife told her husband: ‘You hold me with your ego-centered
selfishness. Now it is time to say goodbye.’
THE THIRD WIFE
What
is meant by the third wife? Everyone has a third ‘wife’. This is the
relationship of our parents, sister and brother, all relatives, friends, and
society. They will go as far as the graveyard, with tears in their eyes. They
are sympathetic and saddened…
Thus,
we cannot depend on our physical body, our fortune, and our society. We are
born alone and we die alone. No one will accompany us after our death.
THE FOURTH WIFE
Sakyamuni
Buddha mentioned the fourth wife, who would accompany her husband after his
death. What does that mean? The fourth ‘wife’ is our mind [or Alaya
consciousness]. When we deeply observe and recognize that our minds are filled
with anger, greed, and dissatisfaction, we are having a good look at our lives.
The anger, greed, and dissatisfaction are karma, the law of causation.We cannot
be separated from our own karma. As the fourth wife told her dying husband, ‘I
will follow you wherever you go.'”
Source
: awakening-path.net